Executive, Legislative, Judicial Branches Merge

The Onion — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 17:30:00 +0000

WASHINGTON, DC—Seeking to streamline federal affairs and give the government a much-needed shot in the arm, the three federal branches inked an unprecedented $12 trillion merger deal Monday. “No more will the three branches bicker and argue and overrule each other,” President Clinton said of the merger, reportedly the largest of its kind since last year’s ABC-Disney deal. “This merger should give the federal government tremendous synergy, a kind of ‘cross-pollinization’ that the framers of the Constitution never envisioned when they developed the now-antiquated system of ‘checks and balances’ so long ago.” In the first major move since the merger’s announcement, on Tuesday Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer ordered mandatory military conscription for all adult males in preparation for a September invasion of Iraq.

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Executive, Legislative, Judicial Branches Merge